Consider Them Gone®. PERIOD.

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Jimmy Davis, who does garage door installations in Raleigh, service, and repairs, invited me to attend an online marketing seminar hosted by AT&T BellSouth Yellow pages. I decided to attend, but only as a mole. I used to be the Raleigh Garage Door Specialist's marketing and brand advisor, and I was only attending on his behalf to see what exactly they were going to lie about, and on the off chance possibly learn something new. I made sure that Jimmy and I did not drink the kool-aid.

Everyone knows that's the first step in brainwashing. Jimmy and I sat down and I found the one client who was closest to our age and started talking to him. I asked him about his business and told him I was a mole and that he shouldn't believe anything they are saying, because they do not have anyone's best interest at hand. We exchanged numbers and things began to get underway.

The presentation didn't get off to a very good start. Ironically, we are attending a seminar about technology and using it to our company's advantage, yet they couldn't even figure out how to get their laptop and projector to work. Technical difficulties right out of the gate should have been a sign to the twenty people in the room that these people haven't got a fucking clue about how to help their business or brands. This was going to be good, sit back, open your ears, and listen to the bullshit fly.

Ralph Amos, the AT&T brainwasher, walked through the doors. He had flown in from Atlanta just to see how many people he could convince that they were the best company for the job.

Below is a screen shot of Ralph Amos' Facebook page (before he removed it) with him saying, "Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence." I believe he meant to put arrogance instead of excellence. Clearly, Ralph Amos did not run this remark by Randall Stephenson, AT&T's CEO before posting it to his Facebook page. In his "About Me" section, he lists, "I took English 101 - three times." There is something for his wife Heather Harrison Amos to be proud of.

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Mr. Amos immediately started his presentation by asking the audience, "Does anyone know who the founders of Google are?" After I waited a few seconds just to see if anyone else knew the answer, I blurted out, "Sergey Brin and Larry Page." The audience was amazed and Ralph jokingly says, "Are you one of our competitors?" I laughed with everyone else because absolutely I was there to steal at least one client from them. I sat and listened to him fill all of these people's heads with information, but some of it was false, some of it was accurate, and some of it was just smokescreen.

I wanted to ask him a few questions, but I didn't want Jimmy to feel uncomfortable since he is still wasting $100,000 a year on his yellow page advertising. The problem is not that the advertising doesn't work, the problem is that BellSouth is an enormous company with enormous expenses. Seriously, they flew someone up to Raleigh from Atlanta just to speak for an hour? Why do you think that is? That is because he is what I would call a SMOOTH TALKER. Salesman have to run a good pitch. They can have all of the old outdated clients.

I wanted to ask Mr. Amos, if his company is so good at search engine optimization (SEO), as he claims, why is he pushing so hard for people to hire them to do pay per click advertising? If AT&T is so good at online marketing and advertising, why is AT&T/BellSouth/Yellow pages NOT in the TOP 10 on Google for "Atlanta marketing agency" or many other terms? After all, AT&T's headquarters are in Atlanta.

Why is he pushing all of these people to believe in how good his company is at marketing, if their company cannot even be found online for terms such as "Atlanta marketing agency", in the TOP 10 on Google for.

What happens with AT&T and other search engine optimization companies, is usually they take your check every month and stop working on your stuff almost as quick as the first check reaches the bank. They don't get paid based on your sales, they don't get paid on the work they do, they usually get paid a monthly fee, and the LESS work they do, the MORE money they make. If you have an auto body garage and they have no idea what your most profitable service is, how can they help you?

Further, if AT&T is willing to accept every garage door installation company in the Raleigh area as their client, how can they possibly help one company, if they are helping all of the competitors as well? If AT&T has 10 clients that install garage doors in Raleigh, how can they possibly look you in the eye and tell you they are working their asses off to get you business?

What none of these people, except Jimmy and my soon to be new client, realize is that search engine optimization is a talent that big companies such as AT&T rarely possess. I have been in the industry for 7 years now and I can just about out rank every single client AT&T has. If they don't believe me, let's have a contest to see.

I have a trademark for Consider Them Gone®. This has dual meaning. My online marketing agency's name is Web Your Name®. When you hire Web Your Name® as your search engine optimization company, when it comes to the competition, you can Consider Them Gone®.

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EVERYONE KNOWS VERIZON has the BIGGEST 3G NETWORK you fucking dummies, despite your desperate David Arquette commercial, how's that for "pissing arrogance?"And if you barely have any 3G coverage, we all are looking forward to the 4G map commercial! But I don't blame you for not having service in Alaska.